In a cozy, book-lined classroom at Maplewood High School, Ms. Rodriguez, the English teacher, was attempting to dissect the nuances of Shakespeare’s sonnets. However, her efforts were consistently derailed by the irrepressible antics of one student in particular, Jimmy, whose knack for asking absurd questions bordered on brilliance.
As Ms. Rodriguez delved into the intricacies of iambic pentameter, Jimmy raised his hand, a mischievous glimmer in his eye. With an amused smile, Ms. Rodriguez called on him, knowing she was in for a dose of Jimmy’s unique humor.
“Jimmy, what’s on your mind?” Ms. Rodriguez asked, bracing herself for the forthcoming jest.
Jimmy grinned. “Ms. Rodriguez, if Romeo and Juliet were truly star-crossed lovers, does that mean they’d have better luck on Tinder?” he quipped, eliciting laughter from his classmates.
Ms. Rodriguez chuckled, realizing she was about to embark on another round of Jimmy’s comedic inquiry. “Well, Jimmy, Shakespeare’s characters lived long before the age of online dating, but I appreciate your modern interpretation,” she replied, trying to maintain her composure.
Undeterred, Jimmy pressed on. “But ma’am, if Hamlet’s famous soliloquy begins with ‘To be, or not to be,’ does that mean he was contemplating becoming a beekeeper instead of avenging his father’s death?” he asked, a mischievous glint in his eye.
The class erupted into laughter once again as Ms. Rodriguez struggled to come up with a response. “Jimmy, ‘To be’ in this context refers to existence, not beekeeping. But I admire your creative thinking,” she said, trying to hide her amusement.
But Jimmy wasn’t finished yet. “If Charles Dickens wrote ‘A Tale of Two Cities’ today, would it be set in New York and New Jersey, with the opening line, ‘It was the best of times, it was the worst of traffic’?” he quipped, earning another round of laughter from his classmates.
Ms. Rodriguez couldn’t help but laugh along with the rest of the class. “Jimmy, Dickens’ novel is a timeless classic set during the French Revolution. But I think your version would make for an interesting read,” she replied, shaking her head in amusement.
And so, amid the chaos of Jimmy’s relentless questioning, the English class transformed into a comedy of errors, with Ms. Rodriguez and her students caught in a whirlwind of wit and absurdity.
Emboldened by the laughter, Jimmy fired off another question. “If Sherlock Holmes lived in the digital age, would he solve mysteries by Googling them instead of deducing?” he asked, a mischievous twinkle in his eye.
Ms. Rodriguez chuckled. “Jimmy, Sherlock Holmes’ methods are timeless, whether he’s using a magnifying glass or a search engine. But I’d love to see his take on cybercrime,” she replied, playing along with Jimmy’s antics.
And so, amid the chaos of Jimmy’s relentless questioning, the English class transformed into a comedy of errors, with Ms. Rodriguez and her students caught in a whirlwind of wit and absurdity. But despite the mayhem, one thing was certain: in the world of Maplewood High School, there was never a dull moment when Jimmy was around.
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Sagar Deshpandey and his wife, Anamika, stepped inside their new villa in Lonavala, a scenic hill station near Mumbai. It was fully furnished and comprised of four rooms on the ground floor and three rooms on the first floor with a terrace. They could not believe their luck, when their real estate agent helped them to seal a deal at an affordable price. Little did they know that along with the furniture, they also had ghosts as the residents. The ghost couple, Makrand and Sumitra Patil, were irked to find their house being invaded by two strangers.
They wanted to get rid of them. They decided to wait until midnight and unleash a reign of terror with their scare tactics. Sagar helped his wife with unpacking and arranging things in order. They had their food in a nearby restaurant. By the time, they came back , they were too tired and called it a day. A storm was brewing up and the ghosts decided to take advantage of the fact.
Sagar and his wife went to bed early that night. A gust of wind blew, rattling the windows in the process. Makrand entered the room through the wall. He made a howling sound to wake Sagar. Anamika murmured, ” Sagar, I hear some weird noises.” Sagar replied, ” Go back to sleep, Anu. It’s probably a harmless dog howling.” Makrand was furious while his wife, Sumitra, giggled as she heard the comment. She said, ” I like this guy. He called you a harmless dog. I knew you could not scare even a mosquito. Some ghost you are! ” She attempted to glide over Sagar when he let out a huge stinking fart. Now, Makrand roared with laughter and said, ” At least, he compared me to a dog. What about you? You are a stinking fart.” Sumitra grumbled, ” I guess he stuffed himself with Mooli ( radish) parathas. I pity this woman. How could she marry a guy with a serious gas problem? ” Makrand and Sumitra made their way out, having a typical husband-wife argument.
The next day, Sagar was busy reading a newspaper, when he noticed a transparent human like material floating towards him. He glanced at him. Makrand let out a typical ghostly laugh. Sagar smiled back. Makrand was shocked. He hadn’t expected this kind of reaction. He tried to threaten him and said, ” Leave this house at once, if you value your life. Or I will be forced to kill you.” Sagar replied, ” Please kill me by all means. I am fed up of living with a monster for the past 15 years. So, a ghost doesn’t scare me.”
Makrand commented, ” You aren’t supposed to react like this. You should say ” God save me and run.” Just then Anamika called from the kitchen, ” Who are you talking to, Sagar? ” Sagar replied, ” Your father. He’s here to bless us.” His wife replied, ” Don’t talk nonsense. How can my father be here when he’s in the USA? ” She came out of the kitchen and saw Makrand’s ghost. Instead of screaming in fear, she seemed to be pleased. ” Oh, Good! I see you have hired a servant. But why’s he looking like a ghost? Wait a minute, he’s a ghost. How dare you call my father a ghost? “ Sagar answered, ” Had your father been an angel, you would look like one!” Makrand was watching this banter in amusement. Sagar continued, ” This poor guy doesn’t know how to scare anyone. Let me show him.” He took out his phone and asked Makrand to come over and have a look. Makrand screamed at the pic. It was Anamika without her makeup. Makrand said, ” Had I not been dead, this pic would have given me a heart attack. Great bro. You do have a spooky wife.” Anamika lost her temper on being insulted.
Anamika hurled a rolling pin at Sagar’s head and it hit the bulls eye. Makrand clapped and said, ” Fantastic aim. Do keep going.” Anamika glared at the ghost and said, ” Just shut up and start sweeping the floor, ghostly servant.” Just then, Makrand’s wife, Sumitra floated over Anamika’s head and yelled at her, ” How dare you call my husband a servant? No one dares to treat him like a servant, except for me and get away with it. Both of you leave at once or I will have you killed.” Anamika yelled back, ” Don’t you dare challenge me Or I will let my husband loose on you. You don’t have any idea of the power of his stinking fart.” Sumitra became silent while Makrand was overjoyed to see his wife being tamed.
She flew away and carried a mug of water with her that she deliberately dropped on Anamika. The latter looked like a drowned rat and Sagar and Makrand burst out laughing. Sumitra winked at Sagar and said, ” Don’t just stand there. Click her picture and post it on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. Serves her right for ill treating her husband and trying to dominate mine.” ” Please don’t upload my pic, ” pleaded Anamika, ” I promise not to yell at or fight with you, Sagar. I won’t even torture you for shopping.”
Sagar felt as if he had won a lottery. ” Thank you so much, dear friends, ” he said, ” We didn’t introduce ourselves. I am Sagar Deshpandey and this is my wife, Anamika. ” Makrand smiled and said, ” I am Makrand Patil and this is my wife Sumitra. This was our home prior to our death.” Sagar asked, ” If you don’t mind, would you please tell me how you died?” Makrand stopped smiling while Sumitra continued grinning. She said, ” One day, I slipped and fell in the bathroom. This guy laughed at me. I slapped him so hard that he died on the spot. We had taken a huge insurance policy on his life. While I regretted his untimely demise, I was happy to know that I would be getting a cheque of 30 lakhs. I forgot that I was still in the bathroom and did a stupid dance. I fell once again, hitting my head against the tap and died.”
Sagar and Anamika looked at each other and tried to hold back their laughter. He said, ” Listen guys! I like you both. I won’t evict you from your home. But promise to put on your best behavior and occupy your favorite room without bothering us. Otherwise, I would be prompted to share the comical story of your deaths over the social media.” The ghost couple looked terrified but promised to follow his instructions as his wife now looked at him, admiringly. ( The ghosts in this story are poltergeists).
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A COMICAL SUPERNATURAL THRILLER BY ME FROM STORYMIRROR.COM
Good evening friends,
I wish to share this funny supernatural thriller that I published erstwhile in Storymirror.com. I wanted to share this story for quite some time. I thought of ending the day with some more fun. I hope you like it.
” Nurse Sheila, Would you please increase the oxygen level of the patient? She is having trouble breathing, and her pulse rate has dropped considerably, ” yelled Dr. Kumar.
He looked at Madhu, the patient, who was in a comatose state. Her heartbeat was erratic.
Finally, she breathed her last. The doctor came out looking morose. Her son, Shiva, was pacing restlessly. Dr. Kumar approached him with a bit of hesitation before uttering the usual dialogue, ” I am sorry, Mr. Shiva. Mrs. Sharma is no more. We tried our best to save her. May her soul rest in peace. “
Madhu’s soul lingered over her corpse. She decided to look around and glided through the wall. She saw her son weeping over her demise. She wanted to hug him, but she knew that she was merely a spirit. The doctor patted him on the back and left him alone to grieve.
Shiva went home to convey this news to his wife, Arpita. Madhu followed him.
Arpita opened the door to let Shiva in. She was unaware of her mother-in-law’s ghostly presence. They hugged each other and wiped away their tears. Madhu was in for a rude shock. They burst out laughing as Madhu wondered whether they had lost their minds.
Shiva said, ” I had to control myself from jumping with joy. That old hag finally succumbed to her illness.” “Show her some respect, ” said his wife, ” She was your mother. She was not an old hag. She was an evil witch. ” Madhu’s anger flared up. She continued to listen to their bragging about their conspiracy to get rid of her and her husband.
Shiva smirked, ” Do you remember how I took advantage of his dementia and made him overdose on sleeping pills? He passed away peacefully. Thank God! You advised me to take his signature on the will.” His wife guffawed, ” Have you forgotten that it was I who gave you that idea? Your mother’s condition was pathetic. I took pity on her and pushed her down the stairs. I also bribed one of the nurses to keep her heavily sedated.” The couple asked their cook to prepare special meals to celebrate the success of their fraudulent scheme.
Madhu was so enraged that she wanted to break something. She became aware that she was only a ghost and could not handle anything physically. Suddenly, she had a brilliant idea. She entered the body of the cook and put purgatives in the food. She chuckled, ” My dear children, it’s time for your punishment. Living in humiliation is far worse than death. Be prepared to face the wrath of your deceased mother. “
When the husband-wife sat together for dinner, they had no idea about their impending catastrophe. The purgatives did their job. The couple had been completely exhausted after their uninterrupted trips to the toilet. Madhu planned her next course of action.
The next day, when Shiva and Arpita got ready to leave for their work, Madhu entered the latter’s body. Her son and daughter-in-law owned an advertising company called Umang.
Their business was flourishing. Arpita looked stunning in her navy blue sari with a diamond pendant. She checked her face in the tiny handheld mirror before entering her office. They had two separate air-conditioned suites to entertain their clients. Arpita’s first clients arrived within half an hour of their opening the business for the day. Two gentlemen wearing expensive clothes walked in with a briefcase.
They had come to discuss the advertising campaign for their brand new perfume. Arpita said, ” Good morning, Mr. Kapoor and Mr. Malhotra. I have come up with a unique idea for your perfume.” It was precisely at this moment that she let out a stinking fart. She was highly embarrassed and murmured a quiet sorry. Both the men covered their noses with their hands and resisted the urge to laugh.
She let out another resounding fart as Madhu continued to torment her. Arpita started blabbering, ” I have created a slogan for Mia Perfume. It goes like this:
Mia Perfume is a great way to start,
Covering your body odor or a stinking fart.
Mia perfume blocks out the foul smell of rotting garbage or overflowing drain.
Use it just once, and you will never use it again. ” Mr. Kapoor and his colleague were enraged.
” Are you making fun of us?” he yelled, ” You are a disgusting woman with no manners. We tolerated your non-stop gas supply. How dare you liken our products to garbage and farts? We are no longer interested in doing business with you.” They left her office and never turned back. Arpita mourned over her first failure to impress a client by shedding few tears. Madhu entered Shiva’s office and saw a couple seated opposite him. Shiva cleared his throat before speaking, ” Good morning, Mr. and Mrs. Malik. I have finished preparing a campaign for your product.” When he was about to explain his idea, his mother entered into his body. He started blabbering, ” Premier is an excellent Shampoo. It provides a permanent solution for hair problems. Gently massage your scalp with this shampoo. You will lose your hair without any pain. Your head will shine like a moon. You can save your money as you needn’t go to a hair salon or use expensive shampoos or hair oil. ” The couple glared at him before calling him all sorts of names. Madhu left him bewildered over the client’s reaction. He went to meet his wife. They shared their awful ad campaigns that ended in a disaster. They decided to leave early and went out for dinner.
Madhu enjoyed her new role as a poltergeist. She wanted her son and daughter-in-law to confess to their crimes.
Shiva and Arpita had another bad day, dealing with upset clients. They couldn’t understand what was wrong with them. Shiva said, ” Let us take a mini vacation. We will celebrate our wedding anniversary next week in Mahabaleshwar. We have to find out some way to mollify our clients.” Madhu followed them wherever they went. She loved playing pranks on them.
After a couple of days, Shiva and Arpita went to Mahabaleshwar. Madhu waited for two days and let them celebrate their wedding anniversary. The couple exchanged gifts and greeting cards. They had a nasty surprise awaiting them. Madhu had made them write satirical poems on each other.
When Arpita had opened her greeting card, she was shocked to read the poem. It said:
” You do look like a crazy witch.
You are such a greedy bitch.
Your mouth is so big that I wish I could stitch.
Or throw you into a stinking ditch.
Your braided hair is the tail of a French
Poodle,
Each strand is like a burned noodle.
Your voice is as sweet as a duck.
I married an animal which is my bad luck. ”
She glared at him while he grinned and gave her a flying kiss. He frowned after reading her poem. She had written:
You are a thorn in my life,
Why the hell did I choose to be your wife?
Your ego is as big as your ugly head,
Without my training, you would be dead.
You are all muscles without any brain.
My efforts to train you are in vain.
Our marriage is simply a big disaster.
I wish I could get rid of you faster.
They had a heated argument that lasted for an hour. Shiva was shocked to find his parents-in-law arriving at his doorsteps with their luggage after his return. Arpita welcomed them with open arms. Shiva didn’t like their intrusion into his privacy. He dragged Arpita aside and yelled, ” Who invited them here? How long are they planning to stay? ” Arpita lost her temper and replied, ” They are my parents. They are welcome to visit me whenever they like.”
“They can stay here only for two days,” ordered Shiva, ” You killed my parents and grabbed their wealth so that we could have some privacy. Why don’t you get them to sign their will in your name?” Arpita, ” Are you insane? I am not going to do such a thing.” Shiva slapped her hard and scowled at her, ” You are a greedy bitch. I am ashamed of myself. I shouldn’t have listened to you. I lost my parents, and my conscience hurts me a lot. Get lost with your parents, or else I will kill you all.” Arpita’s father happened to record everything and called the police. Arpita filed a complaint against him for domestic violence. The police handcuffed him and led him away.
Arpita bribed one of the cops to get Shiva’s signature in the property-related documents.
Madhu wanted to wreak havoc in Arpita’s life after the traitor ditched her son.
The next day, Arpita had arranged a press conference to announce that she was the new owner of the advertising agency and explain her marketing strategies. She was decked up like a princess in a silk chiffon blue sari with a diamond necklace. Madhu possessed her before she could address the press.
She started her speech, “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! I have devised a foolproof plan of getting wealthy without getting your ass worked burned out. You need to watch movies to get ideas about luring heirs of the rich and the famous to falling in love with you. My husband fell in love with me. I mesmerized him into doing my bidding. I advised him to kill his father by giving him an overdose of sleeping pills. I usurped his wealth by pushing his mother down the stairs and got him arrested for domestic violence. Isn’t it wonderful? My beloved husband has made me the proud owner of this business. I am grateful to my parents for coaching me. I hope you enjoyed my tips.” Arpita’s parents were horrified by her confession. Madhu left her body as she watched the press baying for her blood. One of the reporters called her a blood-sucking vampire and called the police.
Arpita was puzzled as the inspector arrested her for the murders and the fraudulent activities. She became pale after watching the proceedings of her press conference. Madhu smiled after watching her daughter-in-law and her parents in handcuffs. A white light dawned upon her, and Madhu crossed over to the spiritual realm.
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